I’ve wanted one thing above all else from this blog: to use it as an excuse to better document my life.
When Thomas and I first opened it, I did make an effort. Life events happened (like finding Avery), I took photos of them, and the photos I really loved turned up here. Every so often I’d write a little blurb about what was happening in my life, slack on this blog, then publish a whirlwind of posts when renewed interest (or guilt) struck me.
But the longer time went on, the more I hesitated and refused to let myself hit publish. I’d write, but before I could ever complete a post, two thoughts struck me. 1: Is this post good enough? And 2: Who would even want to see this – would anybody care?
The thing is, when I stand back and think about this blog from a more objective perspective, I know that, 1: The only way I’m going to find my voice on this blog is to publish more. Over time, I’ll find a way to word more personal posts and communicate in way that makes me happy. And 2: I don’t really care if anybody would want to see this; with this blog, I just want to please myself, insofar as documenting my life better goes.
I’ve tried waiting for a muse to strike, I’ve tried writing big posts, small updates, nothing works. So in an attempt to get out of my own head, to take myself off mute, I’m forcing myself to use my voice.
Here’s my goal:
Back when I used Flickr religiously, I once did the 52 week project. I did my best to shoot one nice selfie that I was proud of, and it helped me improve my photography a great deal.
Now I’m going to do something similar on here. Instead of taking a picture every week, though, I’m going to try to take a snapshot every day (though not always/necessarily of myself). And then try to caption it really quickly. At the end of the week, I’ll hit publish on the week’s snapshots in one post.
I hate saying I’m going to do things on the internet. It feels like if I make a promise and don’t deliver, I’m silly for bothering. No one really cares what you intend to do, what they care about is what you actually get out there, as I’ve learned in my many years blogging – so there’s no tangible point to making promises.
But I need to commit to this for myself, and promising it makes it stick a lot better than just giving it a whirl. Because it’s been years that I’ve slacked on documenting my own life, years I’ve wasted not taking the opportunity to refine my own voice, to teach myself through practice to speak clearly about things that are more personal, and less about practical advice.
So lets start…
…with an obligatory bathroom-selfie-including-the-camera shot.
It’s likely I’ll miss days. When I do, I’ll try not to be too hard on myself. But the documenting should be a lot better than before.
Wish me luck!
Well done for deciding to set yourself the target… Us humans can be our own worst enemies! Convincing ourselves we are not worthy of sharing our thoughts or speaking out. But whether someone reads your posts, no one reads your posts or 1000 people read your posts, share your voice because of how it makes you feel – do it for you, not other people ?? I am in a similar mindset at the moment, having just read ‘Big Magic’ by Elizabeth Gilbert. The book has totally changed my outlook, and I will be putting words on paper more often as it helps me feel better…and I’m not concerned if it’s read or not read…I just need to get the words out of my head and onto paper. Leanne x (Gizmos Human Slave)
Thank you so much for this comment, Leanne! Totally agree. Obviously, there’s something really nice and special about even a couple people reading your words, as it’s lovely to be able to connect with others through writing, but even if I just post to help myself become a better writer and to over time learn to communicate more clearly and effectively, it’s so incredibly worth it to me. And obviously, when it comes to personal posts, sometimes I really regret not making the effort because when I do look back and see so many parts of my life missing, well I wish I did try harder. Definitely think the target should help; hopefully the desire to meet a goal will make me throw the self-censorship out the window!